| "Vintage Reading® Stories Heard Over the Back Fence"
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Daydreams at Random
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Gathered from 1870s Commentaries
By Rita and Victor Buday
JULY 2007 :: © 2007 Buday Books / Vintage Reading® |
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"JOE MILLER'S JOKE BOOK"
For more than 250 years, he's been blamed for every tired, threadbare joke and anecdote--"That story is so old--it must have come from Joe Miller's Joke Book."
Truth is, there was a comic actor named Josiah or Joseph Miller (1684-1738), for many years a favorite with Drury Lane Theatre audiences in England. Over the years he played some 60 different characters in such epics as The Constant Couple; The Busybody; Love in a Riddle; Squire of Alsatia; and others of mercifully short-lasting duration.
His reputation was made for him after he died in 1738 by John Mottley, a minor playwright. In 1739, under the pseudonym of "Elijah Jenkins," Mottley published "Joe Miller's Jests, or the Wit's Vade Mecum." It contained 247 jests and anecdotes, of which as many as three may have come from Joe Miller. The rest were scraped together from elsewhere! That was the total connection with Joe Miller!
At one shilling (about 25 cents) sales were brisk, warranting a quick second edition; the third edition (still in 1739) increased entries to 273; by 1745 the eighth edition listed 587 jests, and the 1865 New York printing had 1,286! Most so-called "Joe Miller Jests" were about people not yet born, and events not yet happened, when Miller died in 1738!
Centuries-old jokes usually don't retain their humor, but these may prove us wrong:
LEARNING THE FACTS OF LIFE
Now that he'd bought the horse, he said to the seller, "does he have faults I should know?"
"Only two, sir. One is that he's hard to catch."
"And what is the other fault?"
"That is the worst sir; when you do catch him, he is good for nothing."
THE ASSISTANT
Captain of the Ship calling out: "Who is below decks?"
Voice from below: "Seaman Edwards, sir.
Captain: "What are you doing?"
Seaman Edwards: "Nothing, sir."
Captain: "Is Seaman Thomas there?"
Seaman Thomas: "Aye, aye, sir."
Captain: "What are you doing?"
Seaman Thomas: "Helping Seaman Edwards, sir."
A RATHER DELICATE MATTER
A lady called her dressmaker to inquire about a character reference for a housekeeper
who had been employed earlier by the tradeswoman.
"Is she honest?" inquired the lady.
The dressmaker thought about Martha's scrupulous integrity . . .
"I am not so certain about that, Madame; I have sent her to you a dozen times with my bill,
and she has never yet given me the money."
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